Day 46

I keep having really productive, positive sessions with my therapist.  It's a welcome change from the counseling style I've grown used to (endless self-flagellation, discussions about my "feelings" and existentialism)

Notes on effective communication in arguments from my therapist:

• Use "I" statements ("I feel," "I think," "I understand that"), as opposed to "you" ("you always," "you never") statements.
• Prepare for and look past hurtful statements from the other party, acknowledging that 1) they may not have the communication skills that you have, 2) they need to let their feelings out, and 3) you have and will hurt them as well.
• If you need to take a break, take it on the spot -- breathe, count to ten, ask the other party for a moment -- rather than walking away.

Also, she helped me come to an important realization today: if I'm a disappointment to someone, that's on them, not me.  It's not my responsibility to mold myself to fit my parents' idea of success and happiness.  At the same time, though, I do recognize that they really just want the best for me, and that, most of the time, our goals for my future align.

Visiting the Orange County in two days.  Get to see Rachel in three.