I was supposed to be back in Vegas by now, but my dad delayed my flight for another week. I don't really know what I'm doing here, just that I'd rather be around my mom and my aunts than all alone in Vegas with no news of my grandma. She's in Korea right now, undergoing a gauntlet of tests. She doesn't know that it's cancer yet.
I have to frame everything in context to myself, because otherwise, it just doesn't make sense. Maybe I'll be able to view it from a less egocentric point of view in the future, but I just have to relate everything to myself right now.
- I am so tired
- I am not reacting the way I should -- that is, crying, genuine sadness for my grandmother, etc
- I am thinking way too much about how I'm reacting
- I am a narcissist
- I am confused
Edit: She most likely has five months or less to live.
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