I feel like I've been doing better and better in terms of taking care of myself and being responsible, and I feel like I'm going to continue to do better in the future. I'm more positive right now than I've been for a long time - I'm so positive that I finally feel like I can actually control my own life - so conversations like the one I just had with my dad are really confusing.
He's really sad about where my life is headed and eager to get me financially independent. What I'm getting from this is that I'm not improving fast enough for him.
The problem with my past attempts to get better has always been my rush to change everything all at once rather than be patient and let things run their course. I'm just scared of what's going to happen if I do that again here and fail. I'm improving so much, but it's still not fast enough for him.
I'm so confused. He keeps saying that he looks forward to the day that I have my life and he has his. I asked him if he was tired of me, or of being my dad, and he said that he's just tired of doing a thankless job. He's never been that honest before.
It's strange how quickly everything can change.
No comments:
Post a Comment